wonderin' why i stopped posting entries?? well, it's 'coz there weren't much happenings during those days.. and well, if there are, i'll just tell you in this entry..
remember my MKR family?? well, they've been helping me a lot.. you know, keeping my mid off "THAT" thing.. and well, they've also been accompanying me when i'm lonely and when i need someone to talk to.. i mean, at MKR, i feel like i am wanted.. and i'm needed.. it's feels nice to be needed.. *sigh*
hehehe.. :P well, anyways, enough 'bout that.. oh yeah, right.. did you ever experience crying, but you completely don't know the reason?? i mean.. like that.. you see, one time, i was reading something.. and suddenly, my tears fell.. and it kept on going.. it didn't stop at all.. it kept on falling.. i caught my tears with my hands and looked at my hands.. clenched my fists and just continued on crying.. i don't know why i cried at that time.. it's just that.. it felt good.. to cry like that.. after i cried, i slept.. and when i woke up, i felt relieved.. like a BIG burden was lifted from my shoulders.. but.. i don't know what it was.. T_T
if you're thinking that it's because of HIM, well, i think NOT.. 'coz i wasn't thinking about him at that time.. i was just.. reading.. come to think of it, i was reading a story about happiness.. then why did i cry?? well, maybe it was just to relieve me.. i was troubled by something.. i can't explain what it was.. but something was definitely troubling me.. but after i cried, i wasn't troubled anymore.. i really felt at peace.. was i holding back on something?? yeah, maybe that was it.. i probably tried too hard to hold back my tears from falling.. you see, i'm pretty worried about my mom's operation.. the thought of going to school didn't even left my mind.. i was also thinking about how i can be as happy as the one in the story that i was reading.. so many problems.. so many complications and stuffs.. oh right, i remember, i was looking at a picture of a smiling girl, looking at a slightly grey sky with a rainbow through her window.. and then i.. i wished to be at peace like her..
haha!! maybe that was it.. that triggered it all.. ^_~v phew.. and i thought i was going mad.. oh well.. it happens.. haha.. ^_^ anyways, gotta go.. still need to do some things.. bye!!